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finally i learned...

  
 
It's not a dishonor breaking down by trying to stay, keep.
When you was convinced it's the right way.

but it is a dangerous fairy tale not to go
if you again and again have to doubt if you be able to belong any more...


... not only for yourself.


 
 

I miss U all...

every day.

Sometimes in each move i make... i have pains.
and i wish to die,
to have a chance to be bye you again and my work i loved like it seems im my memory in this moment...

But i know...

only now i can be and become myself

and find remaining parts...

without pain every time... without doubt every time...

without fear... to loose every day someting more i love... without being able to change it.

 Sometimes i hate me, for missing some of you...

Mostly it's all so awesome normal.

Here are so much things an people i love and i may love! <3 

i can trust...

they belive me...

they understand me... 

and i understand them... 

 

15.12.13 13:05


Werbung


now my decision is clear...

 


 

... völlig unmöglich kann es alles Zufall sein und gewesen sein.

 


21.10.13 01:05


next Round

Ich hasse Pokern...

wird sich das jemals ändern?

 

Werde ich wirklich irgendwann aufhören mir so viele Gedanken zu machen? 

 

29.9.13 23:08


I've seen some...

But no fire arouse.

 

Und ich frage mich wieder:

Was war es, das mir damals das Gefühl gab etwas wichtiges zu können...

das Gefühl gab dazu zu gehören...

und das Gefühl niemals umfallen zu können... 

 das beste Team der Welt zu haben...

 

und frage mich... ob es überhaupt möglich ist soetwas noch einmal zu erfahren... 

oder ob ich einfach nur sehr lange geträumt habe...

27.9.13 20:34


Ok...

Let's play chess...

with tactics.

             ...with caution

without fear of the possibility to miss something... in the future...

... confidence... for things and people i don't even know a bit ?

ignoring fear...

it's just a try

even if my life depends on...

just not more as a try.

going on...

 


15.9.13 20:27


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